A few days ago I played a little trick on my 16-year old son, Sol.  I
opened a Word document, typed "Sol is unable to follow directions," and then
asked the thesaurus for a synonym for UNABLE TO FOLLOW DIRECTIONS (just
highlight that phrase and then hit Shift F7.  Give it a try and see why Sol was
offended by this little trick.
 
     Then my wife came in the room, and I typed "I'd love to see you naked."
I highlighted I'D LOVE TO SEE YOU NAKED and hit Shift F7 again.  This time
Word's suggestion was unoffensive.  Try it.  We had Scotch, by the way.
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From: "Wuensch, Karl L." <WUENSCHK@MAIL.ECU.EDU>
To: "'RICKER@sc.maricopa.edu'" <RICKER@sc.maricopa.edu>
Subject: RE: More fun with the thesaurus
 
        To find a funny Word thesaurus substitution for a selected word
or phrase, do the following:
 
        1. In the thesaurus alphabetical listing, find a funny word or
phrase, such as "unable to have an erection."
 
        2. Note the preceding word or phrase.  For example, the
alphabetical listing has
        unable to distinguish sound
        unable to have an erection
 
        3.  Find a word or phrase which, were it in the list, would fall
between the funny substitute and the preceding word or phrase.  For
example, "unable to follow directions" falls between "unable to
distinguish sound" and "unable to have an erection."
 
        4.  When you select that word or phrase which is not in the
list, Word will, when it can't find it, stop at the next word or phrase,
in this case, at "unable to have an erection."
 
        5.  Keep in mind that the contents of the thesaurus may change
from release to release.  For example, with Word 6 on my laptop, if I
type "Please wash my shirt and pants," select "shirt and pants," and
shift F7, Word stops at "shithouse."  That entry ("shithouse") has been
removed from the Word 97 thesaurus.  Spell checking can also produce
some funny suggestions.  A few years ago I was spell checking a
manuscript with Word 2.  When it hit the reference list it suggested
that I change the name "Goodman" to "Goddamn."  That word ("Goddamn")
has was removed from the dictionary for the Word 6 release.
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Here are some others that worked on my Word 97:
 
Stupid Microsoft Product --------------------> stupid mistake
Who does Bill Clinton make love to? ---------> whoever
Time to go for another drink, lady? ---------> time to go to bed
Golf pro shows the ladies his... ? --------->  gonads
Dismayed at what she did to Bobbitt ---------> dismember
Blowing her boyfriend in a convertible ----->  blowing in the wind